Top 15 Tidbits About Germany

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post because there’s been a lot going on the last month or so, as I am preparing to move again, this time to another country. August 17^th I’ll be making a 12 hour trip across Germany and into Poland, where hopefully we can settle for a few years in the city of Warsaw.

When Niko got the job he wanted in Warsaw, we were excited and nervous at the same time. First of all, Warsaw had never been an option in my mind to move, not that there is anything wrong with Poland, it’s just when you are growing up as a North American you basically see the major cities of western europe as “Europe” which include: London, Berlin, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome, but not Warsaw. So after we found out we’d be moving there it required a lot of research on our part, which I’d like to cover in a blog post once I actually live there and can compare the differences.

For now as a farewell to Germany I’d like to write about the things that stuck out the most to me, that are most different from Canada. Most of them are positive,  all vastly different from North American life, and they are all worth mentioning for anyone wanting to visit or live in Germany in the future.

1.       Taxes are included in all prices

a.       As a Canadian that is all too familiar with bringing an extra ten dollars to buy a case of beer, having all the prices included in every single price on anything was a huge plus. It is hands down my favorite thing about Europe.

2.       Refrigerators for hobbits

a.       Seriously refrigerators are tiny here. In fact, a lot of things are tiny here, which is refreshing and nice in some areas, and frustrating in others. Germans typically shop a few times a week, the reason for this is both the smaller storage space for perishable food and the fact that most of the food you would find in supermarkets is local and with minimal preservatives. The bread you buy from the bakeries will go bad in a few days, and unless you eat all your meals from a can you are bound to find mold on something that’s been in your fridge for longer than a week.  What I like about this is that it encourages a better perspective on what one actually needs in terms of groceries. How much you actually eat, how much you actually need to buy and so on. Living in Germany has given me a lot of practice in buying things that I need rather than buying things I want.

3.       Atmosphere of Leisure

a.       A few things fall under this category. The overall feeling of most European countries is leisure. Germans have an excellent work/leisure balance that makes them known for their love of vacationing. You ever notice that there are a lot of Germans in tourist spots? Even more than Americans, they are seriously everywhere. Included in this would be that nothing has a sense of urgency. People take their time in restaurants, where the servers only come to your table if you flag them down and don’t try to make conversation with you, they simply bring you what you order. They want you to stay for a long time rather than wanting constant turnover, which is why it’s difficult to find coffee to-go.  A downside to this ideal is that, when you really need to get shit done and you’re on the go, there isn’t much to accommodate you. Stores will open late and close early, and often close for lunch, including restaurants. You read that right, restaurants close for lunch.  In addition to this, German people tend to mind their own business. No one ever really makes eye contact let alone small talk, which is the exact opposite of Canada. Honestly, Its kind of nice sometimes to know that people on the street, not even people giving out free samples or trying to hand out flyers or sell you something in the marketplace will bother you. Germany is a safe haven for the socially awkward.

4.       Health Care

a.       German health care kicks serious ass. Canadian health care is great, but it has nothing on Germany. Free everything. Excellent doctors that pay attention to your needs and help you make decisions about your own health, really working with you. This paragraph is short because I can’t even explain how fucking amazing German health care is.

5.       Women-only parking spaces

a.       This is something that seemed like a no brainer when I discovered it, even though I was also surprised it existed. I find that happens a lot over here. The little things that surprise you here are the best I think. There are parking spots specifically for single women only that are brightly lit and located at the exit of buildings, specifically to provide safety. This sounds awesome, but I can’t help but think that it would cause an uproar being introduced in Canada. Claims that it’s sexist, unnecessary, and basically everything else about North American culture that makes everyone afraid of offending someone which quite frankly  Europeans don’t give a shit about, and I like that.

They are so cute

6.       Autobahn rest stops

a.       In Canada there are few rest stops on highways for safety issues, which means if you get a flat, or if you need to rest, you have to wait potentially hours before you can find a place to pull over and do what you need to do. Why? This is considered suspicious activity or could possibly mean someone is in danger. This is very Canadian. Enforcing rules and restrictions based on things that could possibly happen to someone that would prompt outrage in the press and probably a lawsuit, so they have to provide pain in the ass restrictions that help no one. There are dozens of rest stops every few kilometres on the Autobahn, which is greatly appreciated.

7.       Cigarette vending machines

a.       This is one of the small things I was talking about that don’t exist in Canada because think of the children. You go to a vending machine, scan your ID, get your cigarettes. Sure, you could use someone else’s ID, but who cares. The idea of trusting your citizens to make their own decisions about cigarettes and alcohol seems a lot more effective than banning everything and making smokers go through TSA checkpoints every time they need another pack. The legal age to smoke in Germany is age 16, and tons of people smoke, but it’s a cultural thing brought in during WWII and hasn’t left yet. It also doesn’t seem to affect the overall active lifestyle in Germany and while cigarettes might be less popular than they were in the 40’s, there isn’t a social stigma attached to smokers like there is in Canada.

8.       Seasonal groceries

a.       This is both a pro and a con. Pro, the food is local, less pesticides and generally better quality. Seasonal food tastes way better than non seasonal.  The con is that, sometimes I can’t find what I want anywhere and if I want strawberries in the fall well then fuck me.

9.       No highway tolls

a.       This doesn’t seem like a big thing for Canadians but compared to the rest of Europe, I greatly appreciate it. France has, oh, I don’t know, 9 billion high way toll stations and don’t eveng et me started on Switzerland. It’s insane, and it occurs in most western European countries. Not Germany though! (And the roads are well taken care of, btw. I’m looking at you France.)

10.   Ruins and castles open for anyone

a.       Something that would either be cautioned off because someone could be stupid and fall off something or they could cook meth in it, or citizens would be charged their left nut for can be freely explored by people in Germany. There are many historical sites that take advantage of the tourism but I have yet to visit a cathedral or historical site in Germany that the entrance fee cost more than 5 euros.

11.   Beer, Food, Drink

a.       How can I not talk about the food and drink. Great food. Great ice cream. Great coffee. Oh my god. All of those romantic comedies taking place in Europe do not lie about how good the food and drink is. Now, I’m not a beer connoisseur nor do I drink a lot of it, but I can tell you that the amount of beer one gets when ordering a beer is incredible. Beer is cheaper than water (which you have to pay for in a restaurant, no free water or non-stop pop).  It’s cheap, it’s delicious, you can buy it in grocery stores along with other groceries, it’s amazing. The beer culture in Germany is one of my favorite parts about the culture. You can walk around freely and drink your beer in public where in Canada you would have it confiscated and dumped out on the sidewalk, probably also fined because, wait for it, think of the children.

Average festival food

Eiskaffee, coffee with ice cream in it

spaghetti eis. German ice cream in the shape of spaghetti. Made fresh.

12.   Festivals

a.       Germany loves festivals. International festivals, chocolate festivals, beer festivals, seasonal fruit festivals,  tons of festivals. My favorite is tied between the Christmas markets and the wine festivals. Wine festivals are great because you buy it by the glass, put a deposit on your glass (so if you break it you buy it) and then just hang around the festival, be social, and get sloshed. Trying all the different wines in the region is excited, especially during New Wine or Gluehwein festivals. New wine is young wine that is strong but tastes like apple juice. Gluehwein is a Christmas wine that is mixed with spices and served hot, with or without hot cherries in it.  They are always rampant during the Christmas market, which are huge markets beautifully decorated with lights, live music, merchants of all types and tons of different kinds of food, pastries, and christmasey treats.

13.   Pay toilets

a.       If you stop at a gas station you have to pay to use the toilet. The money goes into the upkeep of the bathroom but seriously, it’s such a pain in the ass to constantly forget you need to bring 50 cents to use the loo.

14.   Sunday: Government-ordered “Relax Day”

a.       This happens all over Germany though less and less the more northern you get. South Germany where I live now is a very catholic region which means the city, minus a few restaurants, completely shuts down on Sundays. The government orders you to relax on Sundays, no matter what you need to get done. For this reason, Saturday is errand-running day which makes the city a crowded pit of hordes of people rushing around to get shit done because they have no time during the week since shops usually close right after the work day is over, mixed with people who don’t have to work during the week and are leisurely strolling about the city center and slowing you down. I refuse to shop on Saturdays. Plain refuse. Think of the children.

15. Apartments don't come with kitchens.
THAT'S RIGHT. Out of all the great things about Germany, this one is just plain maddening. Not only do you have to go through a rental agent who's only job is to arrange an appointment with the landlord for you and then charge you 1500 EUROS for it, but you have to purchase and install your own entire kitchen, and pay 3 months rent as a damage deposit. What the actual fuck. To add to the weirdness? How do they cart their kitchens around from place to place when very little (probably less than 1 percent) owns any kind of truck? Seriously. Living in Germany is not expensive, but moving sure as hell is.

There are lots of things I love about Germany and though this list is in no particular order, it’s all the things that stick out in my mind. I’m sure Poland will be full of quirks as well, but I’ll miss Germany. Good thing I’m only 5 hours away in Warsaw.