2 Years in Poland

I think it's about time I write about my current overview of Warsaw having lived here for almost 2 years, since now I have a better grip on what it's like. As a North American, I never thought about what it would be like living in Poland, it's not really a country one puts on their backpacking bucket list, so I didn't have much of an opinion. All I knew is that Warsaw was a big city and there was a huge career opportunity here for the both of us, so it was a no-brainer. I  mean, I was already a weird awkward foreigner, might as well just continue on in another country. Also, I find that when you go to a new place for a little while you get quick highlights of what it's like, but if you live, work, grocery shop, pump gas and pay taxes in a place, it's quite a bit different. I don't want to sugar coat anything, just express what it's really like living here from a North American perspective.

1. Half west, half east

Europeans who have never been to Poland will tell you it's a shitty eastern European country like most eastern European countries, except for the Czech Republic because that's where Prague is and Prague is Prague (Except try not to refer to Poland as "eastern europe" to a Polish person, because it's emerging economically and it technically isn't anymore, despite it's cultural image to other europeans, and they will bite your head right off. )It's cheap, it's interesting, the architecture is cool, it's full of university students. They will ask you why, why in god's name you want to go to Poland, and tell you to skip it on your way to Budapest or Prague. North Americans who haven't been to Poland will say, "Poland? Do you mean Chicago?"

Europeans who have been to Poland will tell you to skip Warsaw and visit the seaside or Krakow, both relatively untouched by the war compared to Warsaw (that's a bit of an understatement though) and therefore much more developed both socially and physically, they also have an overall less melancholy atmosphere than Warsaw. 

The thing about Poland is it is divided down the middle between western Europe and eastern Europe in terms of social and physical growth. The appearance of the city is what you would expect from a growing independent nation both socially and economically, you've got gorgeous structures and architecture alongside quickly, cheaply, and uniformly built communist-era apartment blocks, alongside brick and concrete ruins that have either been restored enough to house low-income families, or not restored at all. 

Old apartment block in north Praga

New and old apartment buildings, Praga

Arkadia shopping center

Along with the physical divide, you've also got a social divide. Poland is dominated by it's senior generation, people directly affected by WW2. The older generation that you find in Warsaw were born in Warsaw, and have likely never left in their lives. You experience an equal amount of welcoming polish babcia hospitality and straight up xenophobia. This is one of the reasons why it's difficult to give a summary of what Warsaw is like, it's just such a solid divide, in the same day you can be looked at like a reverse mermaid on land (that would be human on the bottom and fish on the top) for telling someone you don't speak Polish when they try to speak to you, and met with, "what? why?" an answer to which you surely did not prepare in your well rehearsed repertoire of phrases loaded and ready as a foreigner. Then in the same day, you walk into a coffee shop and suddenly you're in every other busy bustling progressive awesome european capital where the baristas strike up a conversation about how much they love (whatever country you are from).

 Older generations in general tend to disapprove of change, but Poland's elders are leaders among thousands of Poles that are extremely attached to their history. As you walk around in Warsaw, you, rightfully so, see the history every where you go. Memorials, museums, and markers reminding you what happened exactly where you are standing. There are nearly monthly national holidays dedicated to the war, and most importantly, the Warsaw Uprising.

It's interesting, when asking my coworkers why the people of Warsaw seem to put so much energy and pride into remembering such a dark time in their history, they often respond with a slight annoyance to the subject. It appears that the younger generation, (as in, under 40) wish that Poland could move on, because this attachment to the past is holding back the country's social growth and preventing them from becoming as independent and strong as other western European countries. They say that Polish people are "proud" of their failures even, considering the Warsaw Uprising. They failed, but they see it as standing up for their freedom, even though they did not succeed.

Buildings dressed for Polish independence day

Polish extremists burning down a gay rights symbol in warsaw during Polish independence day

Some of millions of candles set out around the city dietaries and memorials for All Saints Day

You've got a younger generation of well educated people that are doing great things for the country, and an older generation morally disapproving of the potential, and reluctant to accept change. In the last ten years alone Warsaw has developed exponentially, hell even in the last year, and this is easiest to see in the city centers. In Warsaw you live the history every day, therefore you must dedicate a good portion of your mental state to remembering it and feeling feelings about it, anger/sadness/bitterness/pride in the country/distaste for the country, sometimes all of those at once! But remember, you can't hate on Poland, only Poles can, they've earned the right with years of shit being thrown at their faces by the rest of europe.

 A lot of Polish people who live in Warsaw tend to not like the city, or even the country. My doctor even told me to not have children in here. After telling her my husband was German, she said "have kids in germany, not in Poland." Even some Polish people I have met in my social circle ask why I would ever move here, and that i shouldn't stay for long because there are lots of other, better cities in Europe. So what am I supposed to do, Poland? Do I feel guilty for not assimilating fast enough or do I feel guilty for bringing myself here and subjecting myself to this horrible place, or amazing place that you should all be proud of, or...or...what am I supposed to feel? Where does my guilt go?!

2. Language and social dynamic

Coming from such a culturally accepting and supremely overly-friendly country made me realize i never thought about what it was like living in a place where things like being gay, having an abortion, or going back to work after having a child were looked down upon. I've been told Warsaw is the most gay-friendly city in Poland, but in my eyes, it is not gay-friendly. My social circle is, and much of the younger generation is, but in general, being gay is weird and immoral. Meeting with expat groups or couchsurfing events, suggesting to go to a favorite gay night club and being met with shocked whisperes of, "but, isn't that gay?" is something I've never encountered before. Which gives me the opportunity to explain just how awesome the LGBT scene is in Warsaw. Small and rather underground outside of the pride festival, (which shows how much better it's gotten) but lively and welcoming. With such a dedicated religious population it doesn't surprise me, but it is really odd to me. It's hard to explain, because when you surround yourself with a younger working generation in an industry like games, you don't encounter much cultural differences because everyone around you is used to being different,  and used to being in a culturally diverse environment. But as soon as you leave the office, you are in a different world. 

The farther you go out of the city center the more intense this kind of thing gets. In general I would say I encounter 80% normal people and 20% weirdos who've never seen a foreigner in the wild before.

Young people who speak English or are learning English are happy to speak to you and be as polite as you would expect, and really pleasantly surprised when you try to speak Polish to them. Which makes me feel like a damn pro for simply saying hello. They tend to realize that Polish is a really difficult language for anyone who isn't Polish and are genuinely helpful. Encountering a Polish person who does not speak English is the exact opposite. "Ew, a foreigner, why would you live in a polish country and not speak Polish." I'm not even sure they really think this, but all I can tell is from the look on their face and their simple, flat, "...oh" as a response, then walking away. It happens a lot.

As opposed to Germany or other western European nations, you should always assume that where you go, the post office, grocery store or what have you, people will not speak a word of English. That's not to say every post office or grocery store is full of non-english-speakers, but instead of assuming you can always get by, you should always assume that you won't be able to get by with english, because it's a real possibility and there is no way to guarantee, unless you are on Nowy Swiat. (The main drag.)

Another thing to note is the general cultural differences in terms of being out in public. People do not really have a personal space bubble, and the expectation of "being polite" as it would be seen in Germany or Canada or the Netherlands, (the only ones I can truly speak for) doesn't really exist. This is the ONLY topic that I can generalize for, because everyone does it. Every single person. It's really a circus to witness, especially coming from a country where we have purell canisters at the front of grocery stores so we don't have to come in contact with peoples GERMS, not even just people. Their germs. The people could be miles away and you don't even want to come in contact with their germs.

People cut you off while walking, don't wait for anyone to walk through a small area (like an aisle or a doorway) and instead squeeze past you, fully rubbing their bodies against yours to get where they need to go, and will just basically be right next to you or in your way with no regard to anyone else around them. I basically get to second base with strangers on a daily basis, and a lot of them clearly don't invest in deodorant. You take an inch of a step forward in the grocery line to make some space? The person behind you will fill it, and you will feel their breath on your neck and probably their basket pressing into your lower back. It's taken me 2 years to shake off the feeling that I am about to be mugged or attacked if someone is that close to me.
I get a really strong sense of "every man for himself" here, which makes sense if you think about a population made up of mostly people who lived through communism and in super tight quarters. Just completely no idea of what other people might think, feel, or need, just what they think, feel, or need. 

People walking around in a public space have no sense of order. No one is walking on any particular side of the aisle, or with any sense of direction. When I need to get to one side of the mall corridor to the other it's like I am in real life Frogger, and I have to actually shoulder-check before moving positions in a public space. People stop directly in front of you, and don't move over when they obviously see another person stuck behind them. People seemingly give absolutely zero fucks about other people. In a way it's liberating, in another way it's infuriating. However, that isn't entirely true. They seemingly don't care, but they really do. If an eldery woman needs help getting on the tram, several people rush to help, same with strollers, or if someone is in distress in public, people will rush to their aid. I can't tell if Poles hate each other or love each other, maybe both, but it's nice in a way.

3. Food

 There are a lot of really great dishes, like Bigos and Pirogi,  if you like a lot of animal fats, cabbage, potatoes and wheat-based dishes then Poland is the culinary revelation you have always been seeking. The food groups of Poland are starch, meat, and cabbage. Seriously. Grilled meats with a side of cabbage. Eggs on toast with a side of sauerkraut. Boiled pirogi and beef stew with a side of cabbage. "I'll take a coffee," would you like some cabbage with that?!

Personally, i love the abundance of game meat here. Mostly rabbit, but you can also find venison and bird meat like quail and pheasant as well, depending on the season. Of course regular foods are available in the supermarket, and at local farmers markets (which is mostly just people selling things they grow in their gardens on the street) but in general, "Polish" food, is considered to be less than exciting. Though if you like sausage, it's probably heaven for you. There are hundreds of types of Kielbasa and various ways to prepare them. The really awesome thing about Polish food is that when you go to a traditional Polish restaurant, the ingredients they are using are probably local. When you go to a polish supermarket, the local foods are cheapest, and when I say local, I mean farms just a few hours outside of Warsaw. I love that about Poland. I love that you can buy honey made from local farmers on street corners and in front of metro stations from little old ladies in fur coats as well as fruit and vegetables, home made soaps, and even clothing. In Canada someone would be fined for doing that.

4. Drink

Polish people know their vodka. Go to a party and each guest will have brought at least one bottle of vodka with them. Like that little stash of pot that Vancouverites have that they never bought but seems to grow every time you have a party. There is a saying that you should never bring vodka to a gathering because there will already be hundreds available. Poland is famous for Nalewka, which is alcohol made from fruit like cherries, tastes like jam, and like most things in Poland, are best when someone's grandmother makes it in her basement and sells it on the street. 

There is so much to be said about Poland, but in general these are the biggest differences I've encountered. It's extremely difficult to generalize, there is no consensus, and it's hard to come to a conclusion about how your experience is here. It's just so different from city to city, and region to region, the only concrete thing I can say about it is that it's developing culturally, night life is great, and there is a lot to discover, most of what you see on the outside is different underneath. Oh and don't visit Warsaw in the winter, holy shit, especially if you have seasonal effective disorder.

You have people who love Poland and disapprove of other cultures in their country, people who like warsaw and are very open to other cultures, then you have people who hate Poland and tell people at any opportunity to not live here and that every other country is better, and you've got people who hate poland, but also pretty much hate everything else. It's hard to generalize Poland because of this, it's still forming it's own identity, and I can sympathize. You're alright, Poland. But learn to Queue. Please.