I tried knitting

Knitting

February 4th, 2013

Ever since I discovered Etsy I've been getting more and more obsessed with the idea of making my own clothes. Yeah I can express my individuality and no one else would have the same clothes and it would be better for the environment, and little kids in Bangladesh wouldn't be breaking their fingers to sew 'YOLO' into my crew-neck, but what it really comes down to, is that I just want to make really cool shit that makes me look like Ezmerelda for like a fraction of the price of retail. So I can alter my own clothes, so I can make my own pants that might actually fit properly, and so I can look at every single pair of jean shorts I own and just load those fuckers up with lace and change the lining on everything in my wardrobe that has a lining in it.

Before I buy a sewing machine out of the blue and attempt to do this by being instructed by only a youtube video, I thought I would attempt to try something a little simpler and a little more inexpensive, like knitting. Knitting can't be that hard right? Grandmothers do it, I've seen little kids do it, you're just weaving some yarn together, no big deal, I can figure that out. 

Knitting Day 1:

 I wander off to Karstadt, which is the German version of The Bay, and meander around looking for the fabric section, because I don't know what fabric is in German and won't even attempt to look at the directory, which at this point in my move overseas, may as well be written in Klingon. I finally find it, and begin shopping. I pick me out a 'starter' kit suggested by the lady at the counter after I tell her I want to make a sweater, she tells me that might be too difficult at first so I should try a hat or a scarf, I go with her suggestion, I buy the starter kit. Then I head home, with full intention of going home and learning how to knit a sweater, and I feel very smug and rebellious about it. Don't tell ME I can't knit a sweater if I want to!

So I sit down and pull up some pages on how to knit, and discover that they are extremely way out of my league. After a few google searches of "beginner" knitting tutorials, I have discovered that people in the knitting community have no idea what the word "beginner" means. I began to realize that all of the tutorials I was reading were telling me this:

Step 1. Cast on like this: (okay, got it, casting on, totally easy, this is easy! I can DO THIS!)

Step 2. Make a purl stitch, or a garter stich. (Wait, there are different kinds of stiches?)

Purl stitches when completed look like this. (Wait, how do you make them?)

Garter Stitches look like this. (No, stahp, go back!)

Step 3. You've just knit a scarf! (WHAT)

I gave up entirely on picture tutorials, I now know that I need videos to learn anything. It's late and my eyes are tired from staring at the photo tutorials like I'm trying to move the letters around with my mind into a description that would make sense to me, so I go to bed.

Knitting Day 2:

I found a video tutorial online. I watch it several times, over and over, going slowly step by step, moving back and watching the beginning over again. I successfully and fluidly cast-on. I am encouraged.

Then on to knitting. I spend another 5 minutes re-watching the 10 second demonstration of completing one knit, fueled with rage and frustration on why the simple knit is not clicking in my brain, then I successfully make one. SUCCESS. I HAVE KNIT. I continue on, filled with pride and excitement, but still slightly fueled by rage. I will conquer you, knitting. 

I'M DOING IT. It looks wonky and crooked but it's happening!

I think I missed a loop, STILL GOING.

I think I really fucked it up.

Yeah I really did. DON'T CARE MOVING ON.

The fruit of my labor. It's nothing. But it means success. Despite how unbelievably frustrating it was to just get the basic how to knit down, I can now say that I have got the hang of it, and now I'm just practicing how to keep the knits tight and I'm not working on what appears to be a scarf, NOT, a sweater.

4 hours after my initial knit-success, I started over to make my 'scarf.' this piece took about an hour and a half to do, and it ain't lookin' so bad. Oh knitting, you are a cruel yet irresistible mistress.